"I Messages" is a tool for communicating needs and wants in a properly assertive way. Guide your client through the three components of "I Messages" and highlight the important characteristics associated with them. The three components of an "I Message" are:
- Behavior - What is happening around you? What is the other person doing?
- Feeling - How does the person's behavior make you feel?
- Consequence - What happens as a result?
When using "I Messages", always begin second statements with "I" not with "you." This emphasizes that the problem or distress belongs to the speaker and NOT the person to whom they are speaking. Have your clients give examples of an "I Message" related to their current situation. After your clients have completed the three-parts of the "I Message", they should wait for a response from the person to whom they are speaking. This will allow them an opportunity to provide a solution to the problem. Walk your clients through the three component parts using the "I Message" work sheet.
