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During the COVID-19 outbreak, you might have concerns about safety, feeling unable to cope, helplessness, guilt and anger. While it is understandable to feel this way, focusing on such negative feelings can make coping even more difficult. You may find it useful to become more aware of unhelpful thoughts and consider focusing on more helpful thoughts.
Use this table to identify thoughts you might be having now, and helpful thoughts you can try instead. Then, it's important to practice using more helpful thoughts as often as you can.
Topic: Safety
Common Unhelpful Thoughts
How You May Feel
Alternate Helpful Thoughts
How You'll Feel
The world is a dangerous place.
scared
worried
not trusting
The world can be dangerous, but there are things I can do to enhance safety.
Change is the only guarantee in life. Sometimes, when things go wrong, the only thing we can control is our reactions.
The world is not always dangerous.
Most of the time I'm safe.
I can trust... (e.g.., that things usually work out; that I can handle things even if they don't work out; in God; in others; in myself; in life).
hopeful
open to a better future
trusting that people will help
calmer
I can't trust anyone
lonely
withdrawn
suspicious
sad
Trusting people is why I'm getting help.
I can choose some people to trust.
more trusting
less suspicious
hopeful
optimistic
I'm not safe
worried
scared
insecure
Feeling unsafe isn't the same as being unsafe.
Something bad happened, but it doesn't mean it'll last forever, or happen again.
more relaxed
confident
capable
more secure
Topic: Helplessness and Control
Common Unhelpful Thoughts
How You May Feel
Alternate Helpful Thoughts
How You'll Feel
I am too scared to do anything because I might get infected.
I am going to infect others.
immobilized
helpless
I can gather information, set priorities, adapt my plans and carry out the most important necessities in ways that are safe.
I am doing the best I can to keep both myself and my family safe.
I can find ways to express love and be connected in ways that are safe for us all.
reassured
capable
stronger
Things will never be the same again.
sad
regretful
hopeless
Feeling really bad usually doesn't last forever.
Thinking like this makes it hard to plan for the future.
Not everything will be like it was before. But some things are the same now.
Even though things may never be the same, I can grow from what is happening and adapt to changing life circumstances.
open to the future
hopeful
accepting
I have no control over anything.
I have to stay home all the time.
This is a huge setback.
helpless
not caring or giving up
confused
frustrated
I can control some decisions about my future.
Doing things gives me more control.
Talking to a someone about what I'm feeling shows I have some control.
There are many things I can do, so I'll focus on those instead of what is out of my control.
There have been setbacks but focusing only on them gets in the way of my bigger priorities.
Every setback or obstacle can be an opportunity to improve things in my life.
I can use this time to strengthen my faith / values / practice.
like you have a purpose
hopeful, capable
able to set goals or take steps
less helpless
Topic: Coping
Common Unhelpful Thoughts
How You May Feel
Alternate Helpful Thoughts
How You'll Feel
I should be coping better.
helpless
useless
scared
I got here today, so I'm coping a bit.
Talking to a friend, mentor, or counsellor might help me cope better.
Most people are struggling to cope in this new context. We're all doing the best we can.
I can use this time to strengthen my skills / faith / values / practice.
less scared
more hopeful
less helpless
stronger
capable
open to getting support or help
My reactions mean I'm going crazy.
Something must be really wrong with me.
scared
worthless
negative
These reactions are temporary.
Most people react like this.
Things are hard for many people now.
Even though my mind tells me that I'm not coping well, that doesn't mean I have to listen to it or agree.
I can ignore thoughts that aren't helpful and choose to focus on more helpful thoughts.
reassured
capable
hopeful
Other people deal with this better than I do, so what's wrong with me?
Only weak people react the way I do.
worthless
Most people react this way for a while.
My reaction shows the challenge I'm going through, not how weak I am.
reassured
capable
stronger
Topic: Guilt
Common Unhelpful Thoughts
How You May Feel
Alternate Helpful Thoughts
How You'll Feel
I'm a bad person for letting this happen.
guilty
worthless
like you hate yourself
A bad person wouldn't feel guilty about this.
The reason I feel bad is because I care.
I did the best I could with the information I had at the time.
We all make mistakes. I can forgive myself and learn from what happened.
I can use this time to strengthen my faith / values / practice.
like you aren't to blame
worthy
self-accepting
I should have prevented this.
I should have done something differently.
I am disappointed in myself.
guilty
worthless or blaming
frustrated
upset
Nobody could have prevented this.
I can't always protect myself or others.
There was limited information. about how to prevent this at the time it happened.
I had to make difficult decisions and didn't realize the extent of danger at the time.
I had few options at the time.
I did the best I could given that: I was exhausted; I was dealing with a lot; I was operating with limited resources; I was pressed for time, etc.
There are many things I'm grateful for, so I'll focus on those instead of what is bothering me.
self-accepting
worthy
like you aren't to blame
Topic: Blame and Anger
Common Unhelpful Thoughts
How You May Feel
Alternate Helpful Thoughts
How You'll Feel
It's unfair.
angry
vengeful
This could have happened to someone else.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Even though it's unfair, the way I'm expressing my anger is not going to help me get what I want and/or need.
It might be unfair, but if I continue to be angry, it is getting in the way of my bigger priorities (e.g., helping my children feel safe).
There are many things I'm grateful for, so I'll focus on those instead of what is bothering me.
I can use this time to strengthen my faith / values / practice.
understanding
realistic
accepting
It's their fault this happened.
angry
frustrated
vengeful
blaming
not trusting
Blaming others doesn't change my situation.
Others may be to blame, but I need to focus my energy on me and my family.
Later, my anger will motivate me to try to do something to change the things I'm angry about, but at the moment, I need to focus on what I can accomplish in my immediate circumstances.
accepting
optimistic
more trusting
better able to move on
References
Adapted from Berkowitz, S., Bryant, R., Brymer, M., Hamblen, J., Jacobs, A., Layne, C., & Watson, P. (2010). Skills for Psychological Recovery: Field Operations Guide. National Center for PTSD & the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Available on: www.nctsn.org and www.ptsd.va.gov.
